The NotAsBigAJerkAsYouCouldHaveBeen Award
by Calamitynexus
Summary: Who would have won the NotAsBigAJerkAsYouCouldHaveBeen Award? Stay tuned to find out! *craic fic*
1. Chapter 1

Not-As-Big-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been Award goes to ..!

Sokka says "All right people, here it is. The one thing that you have all been waiting for. It's time to present the Not-As-Big-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been Award!"

Everyone cheers

Sokka says "Now let's bring out today's nominees."

More cheering. Smoke machines go off and lights flash.

Sokka says "Our first nominee is the leader of his own band of rebels. This boy wonder likes to chew on wheat stalks, murder Fire Nation villages and once tried to court my sister. That's right. I give you the one, the only, the jerk know _as Jet_. "

Loud cheering. Jet drops from the ceiling onto the stage, giving a flashy bow.

Jet waves, "Hey everybody. Happy to be here."

Winks at crowd. More cheering

Sokka smiles, "Hey Jet, glad to see you. Last time was a real blast! Am I right?"

Silence

"Okay… Our next nominee works for the Fire Lord Ozai. He's cranky, he's testy and he'd climb over as many bodies as he needs to in order to make his next promotion. I give you… _Admiral Zhao_."

Curtain by stage catches on fire. Zhao strides out in full armor. Audience boos and hisses.

Zhao walks on stage. "SILENCE! Insolent Peasants! When I win you will regret this display. Mark my words."

Sokka smirks. "Thank you Zhao. You're always a hot item to have around!"

Silence. Sokka sighs

"Fine. Moving on. This nominee grew up in the South Pole, but don't let that fool you. Her calm façade hides a mess of turbulence. She's loud, she's naggy, she's violent; I give you my very own sister _Katara!"_

Loud cheers and a bit of whistling from the crowd. Katara steps onto the stage, hiding her face in her palm, muttering angrily. "Sokka, if I find out you nominated me I am going to turn you into an ice cube!"

Sokka waves his hand. "See what I mean folks? Water Tribe. Despite the small population they seem to be holding their own. In fact, our next nominee is Water Tribe as well. As cold and as unyielding as an ice cube, as old as the glaciers, I give you the great waterbending master _Pakku!_"

Nothing happens.

He coughs. "Let's try that again. I give you… _Pakku!_"

Again, nothing.

"Oh come on! Where is-"

The sprinklers in the studio go off. The crowd screams as the cold water hits them. Then a mist rises. Zhao curses as water rains down. "This is disgraceful! Who dares to soak me, the Great Admiral Zhao?!"

"Oh shut up!" snaps Katara.

The mist thins, revealing the contestants. Katara is flapping her arms, forcing the mist away. A figure stands center stage.

Sokka wrings out his ponytail. "Sorry about that folks. Hey! Pakku! There you are!"

Pakku raises an eyebrow. "Indeed."

Katara mutters. "Show off."

"Indeed."

Sokka leans away. "Okay…"

"Indeed."

"Riiiight. Okay then. Moving on. Now it's time to introduce our final contestant. This nominee likes to stare up at the stars and contemplate his place in the universe. When he isn't drinking tea with his Uncle he's changing sides…. Again. Quick to anger and even quicker to sulk, all the way from the Fire Nation, I give you _Prince Zuko."_

Fangirl screams fill the arena. Zuko emerges onto the stage, looking shy.

The timid youth takes center stage. "Hello…. Zuko here. But I guess you already knew that…" he coughs, "I guess I was a bad guy, but I'm good now…uh, um… honor to be here?"

Sokka claps his hands together. "Alright. You've met the nominees… Now it's time to meet our judges! I think you folks should all know this first one here. He's small, he's quick, he's the master of all four elements! I give you the one, the only, the Avatar himself, here's _Aang_!"

Cheering fills the room. Aang falls from the ceiling, landing softly in the judge's chair.

The bald monk flashes a cheery grin. "Hi everyone! Thanks for inviting me. It's an honor to be here."

"It's an honor to have you here Aang." Sokka waves his hand dismissively. "Our next judge hails from the Earth Kingdom. She may be small but don't let that you fool you. I introduce to you the world's greatest earthbender… _Toph Bei Fong!"_

The cheering is interrupted by a rumbling sound. Sokka goes flying into the air. Sokka lands on his podium with a shout.

"Sokka, if you ever give me an introduction that lame again I will bury you in a mountain." Toph walks up to her seat, sitting down heavily and plunking her feet onto the judge's table.

Sokka's groans fill the audience. Katara can be heard laughing on stage.

"Did you hear me Sokka?"

"Okay Toph…. Uuuggggg."

Sokka eventually rights himself, earning a small applause. He rubs at his stomach. "Well then… Let's move on. Our next contestant needs no introduction. I give you the leader of Kyoshi Warriors and the love of my life, _Suki_!" Men can be heard whistling in the audience as Suki approaches the judges' table. "Hey. Hey! HEY! You jerks cut that out! She's the love of my life, not yours! Get your own girlfriend!"

Suki giggles and sits, winking at the audience.

Sokka grumbles, "Fine, moving on." He lets out a distracted cough. "Our next judged is renowned not just for his skill in battle but also for his skill in the kitchen. I give you the Dragon of the West, the Tea Brewing Machine himself, _Iroh_!"

Applause mixed with fangirl screams and loud hisses follows Iroh up to the judges' table. He sits, frowning. "I was promise tea for this. I would like some Jasmine."

"In good time man, all in good time. But first, let me introduce to you our final judge. The Fire Nations resident sociopath and just plain crazy, I give you the beautiful-"

"Ahem!"

Sokak starts again. "I give you the nowhereclosetoasbeautifulasSuki, the firebending prodigy and murdering psycho herself, Azula!"

The crowd is fearfully silent as Azula strides over to the judges' table. As she sits she smiles._ "_It is an honor to be here. I hope to enjoy this as much as I enjoy burning down the pathetic establishments that peasants call towns, leaving hundreds to die of exposure and even more to waste away from starvation!"

Silence.

"Yes. I enjoy being here quite a bit."

Sokka taps a radio in his ear. "Uh, okay. My producer says it's time for a quick break, but we'll back! Right after a word from our sponsor!"

***

AN- I know this feels a bit rough. For those who are new to this story this is attempt number. Attempt number 1 was reported (see profile for details) and I deleted it so for fear of losing all my lovelies. I have hence remedied the mistakes of the past but it has left the story a little rough around the edges.

More will be going up and hopefully that will feel a bit smoother. I just wanted to let people know that I am working on it. Its just hard because I'm a bit depressed. In the mean time if anyone knows how to start a petition on I'd really appreciate that. Its ridiculous that they have a section of fanfics for plays but scripts are not allowed. I'd like to formally protest this to have it changed and any help that can be provided would be appreciated. Also-new poll on profile up to deal with this isse.


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***

AN-Disclaimer. I don't own powerthirst. Or fire flakes. Or avatar. Or a video studio. Or a chatty monkey.


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